Matador’s managing editor, Julie Schwietert, and her Afro-Cuban husband.
Louisiana’s Tangipahoa Parish became newsworthy last week when Justice of the Peace Kenneth Bardwell refused to marry an interracial couple, citing his concern “for the children who might be born of the relationship,” especially since “most interracial marriages don’t last.”
Here at Matador, we took the news personally.
See, many of us on the editorial team–at least six of us–are partners in long-term interracial and/or intercultural relationships.
Matador’s senior editor, David Miller, his Argentinean wife, and their daughter. Photo courtesy of David Miller
I’m one of them.
Having just given birth to our first child–almost one month ago today–I have some thoughts I’d like to share with Justice of the Peace Bardwell.
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Dear Justice of the Peace Bardwell:
I’m sure this isn’t the first letter you’ve received since the nation learned of your policy against performing marriages of interracial couples because you “don’t believe in mixing the races that way.”
I’m sure you’ve been reviled for your comments like “I’m not a racist…. I have piles and piles of black friends. They come to my home, I marry them, they use my bathroom. I treat them just like everyone else.”
I know there are folks who want your head. Even Louisiana’s ultra-conservative governor, Bobby Jindal, has publicly called for your resignation.
I thought that’s what I wanted too. In fact, just an hour ago, I changed my Facebook status to read:
“Julie Schwietert Collazo is working on an article to unseat that ass of a justice of the peace in Louisiana.”
But as I started to think about you, to think about me, to think about my husband, my child, my friends, and what I believe in most–namely, that words matter– I realized that:
1. “unseat the ass” is just crass, not constructive.
and
2. what I really want is not for you to lose your job because then you’d lose the lesson.
What I really want is for you to understand that the children of interracial and intercultural couples don’t need your “protection.”
Matador Trips editor, Carlo Alcos, with his German wife.
That you’re not protecting them–or anyone else for that matter– by refusing to marry two people who love one another and who have thoughtfully considered the immense responsibilities and the profound joys implied by the institution of marriage and who have then decided to say to one another, “Yes, I do.”
In its ruling in the 1967 case Loving v. Virginia, the U.S. Supreme Court unequivocally stated, “Under our Constitution, the freedom to marry, or not marry, a person of another race resides with the individual and cannot be infringed by the state.”
In fact, you’re doing the couple and the community a tremendous disservice.
Matador Abroad editor, Sarah Menkedick, & her Mexican husband.
By assuming that neither black communities nor white communities can or will accept interracial couples or their children, should they choose to have them, you allow both groups (which you’re assuming to be monolithic in their opinions and beliefs) to perpetuate tired stereotypes that have little relevance in contemporary society (if, in fact, they ever had relevance).
If you haven’t noticed, sir, the president of this country is biracial.
In its ruling in the 1967 case Loving v. Virginia, the U.S. Supreme Court unequivocally stated, “Under our Constitution, the freedom to marry, or not marry, a person of another race resides with the individual and cannot be infringed by the state.”
The ruling, subsequently translated into law, seems fairly clear to me.
The author’s biracial daughter.
When I looked into the eyes of my daughter as she was placed on my chest after being born, I was overwhelmed by thoughts about her fragility and her strength. About the challenges she’ll face in her life. About the disappointments, the sadnesses, and the losses she’ll encounter, and how her father and I won’t be able to protect her from all of them.
None of these thoughts had to do with her race or ours.
They had to do with the human condition.
Matador Goods editor, Lola Akinmade, exchanging vows.
Your job, the one you chose for yourself, is to preside over marriages between two people who have come to a decision between themselves that they are willing to face life’s joys and challenges together with equal commitment.
If you truly felt that Beth Humphrey and Terence McKay were incapable of fulfilling that commitment, then you could be guided by your conscience to decline presiding over their marriage.
But if you made the decision based solely on race, then you are merely part of the same group of people from whom you presumably want to protect the McKays’ future children.
And that is neither your responsibility nor your right.
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29 Comments... join the discussion!
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Brilliant text, very constructive.
I also have a long inter-cultural relationship and, despite not living in the US, couldn’t help feeling disgusted by what the Justice of the Peace had said.
When I think about the children that hopefully my partner and I will one day have, I can only think of how much richer human beings they will be because of their parents’ different cultures and languages. I think about the diversity of what they’ll learn, in terms of culture, and about how lucky they will be to be able to identify themselves with two cultures instead of just one (so lucky I think I’m a little jealous of them and they haven’t even been born yet).
Does that man not realize that he wouldn’t even be alive today if, at some point in history, no matter how far you have to go to find it, an inter-racial couple hadn’t decided to have children? Well, considering what he’s come to do and say, I guess this argument only helps strengthen his theory…
I guess it’s OK to give a marriage license to a couple of the same ethnicity, even if that license might end up marking the beginning of a tormented relationship, with domestic violence towards the spouse or the children. But god forbid we should ever let a loving couple see their relationship officially recognized if they come from different backgrounds.
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Vera-
Exactly! When I first started thinking about writing this piece, my plan was to take the angle you’ve articulated here: that being bicultural/biracial actually tends to make the child richer in experiences and understanding, and stronger, more empathic, and more aware as a result. There was SO much I could have said here, but I found it difficult to express all of those sentiments in a single coherent piece. I’m really grateful you raised this issue as a comment, though, and thanks for sharing a bit of your own story.
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Yes! Great letter, Julie.
I hope he reads it and if he does I hope he has the brain power to comprehend it. I hate it that I believe this man is beyond help. I feel jaded for believing it.
Anyone who thinks they are not racist if they let people of another race use their bathroom is so stupid I doubt that person would have the capacity to understand your well reasoned argument.
Since when do people need to be married to have children anyway?
Besides which, his refusal is so offensive on so many levels.
Thank you for writing this.
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Kate-
You’re absolutely right– there are so many aspects of Bardwell’s “but some of my best friends are black!” argument that are just wrong, not to mention all of the assumptions underlying his beliefs (that all black people and all white people believe the same thing; that by refusing to marry an interracial couple that they somehow will realize the “error” of their ways and decide not to have children…. it’s exhausting just to think about, really.
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Thanks for writing this.
Only thing I wanted to add is who decides what a “race” is. Nobody is 100% anything. Over the thousands of years, civilizations have migrated all over. Even “white” people may have ancestors of various races/skin colors. The people most people call “black” are often mixed with causasian, native American, hispanic, and/or asian races. A big problem in America is that we pigeonhole people at a glance. Oh he’s black. Or she’s white. No, they’re PEOPLE, not colors.
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Great point, Calico.
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Great point, Calico… unfortunately, I think it’s one that’s probably a little too advanced for Bardwell!
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I liked “unseat the ass”, only I wouldn’t have spoken so kindly. Think about it a minute. The dude’s A JUSTICE OF THE PEACE?
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Mike-
You know, as I was writing this article, I did a little bit of research about what the functions of a justice of the peace are. It’s a funny name, right? They essentially perform semi-judicial functions without being judges and (in Louisiana at least) are free, for the most part, to set their own standards of practice in some areas of responsibility. It’s all a bit alarming, to be honest.
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Thank you so much for this, Julie. My son is a biracial/bicultural child; my boyfriend is black. The news of Justice of the Peace Bardwell repulsed me. I fail to see how denying a child’s existence can be considered “protection”…but then racism has no logic. And no place in the judicial system.
And I loved the picture of your daughter. Absolutely beautiful.
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Thanks, Cathey!
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concern “for the children who might be born of the relationship,” especially since “most interracial marriages don’t last.” – That’s just such a dumb argument. Dumb!
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Neha-
Right?! His statement begs the question: Where/what is the evidence that most interracial marriages don’t last? I, for one, would be really interested in seeing it.
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Wow Julie, this was really a terrific piece. As a product of a bi-cultural marriage, it really hit home. Incidents like this remind me that even if the United States has a black president, we are far from overcoming racism. The only way we will ever be able to do that is if we start having open and honest dialogue about the issues that exist. Your letter is a great step in that direction.
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Such a strong letter…I sincerely hope he reads it.
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Brilliant letter/article! I’m sad for the couple that had to go through with this, but I’m very glad they made it public. This same circumstance happens far too often here in the south, and it’s way past time for it to stop. Hopefully this story, your letter, and others like it will help other couples in the future.
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@Gabriela & Candice: Thank you!
@Brian: The couple found another justice to marry them and are currently considering taking the case before the Supreme Court.
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Julie, the only point on which I disagree with you is the fact that if he loses his job, he’d lose the lesson. I can see where you’re coming from, but I doubt that he’ll learn something from all the uproar, either (tends to make people stick harder to their beliefs). I think he should be fired as protection for the people, that no judge who is supposed to uphold the law can have his personal, racist opinions rise above it.
Nonetheless, thank you for putting together a poignant letter. Although it may not effect him, I’m sure it will effect countless others, not just those who would have agreed with you in the first place.
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Christine-
I suppose that for all of my cynicism and pessimism, I must actually be an optimist at heart!
I don’t think firing Bardwell would resolve the fundamental problem here (though his work should, perhaps, be monitored by the powers that be to ensure that he’s actually fulfilling the mandate of his position), and that’s what really interests me. We (as a culture) like sensationalism and a sense that a jerk has gotten his comeuppance, but what happens when this story fades into obscurity, as it inevitably will? Bardwell’s fired, but he hasn’t had any transformative moment.
Is he capable of such a moment? I certainly don’t know. But what I do know is that firing him isn’t likely to result in such a moment.
When I was in college, I did a lot of peer education work around LGBT issues. What amazed me again and again was that people who were deeply prejudiced were more disposed to revise their beliefs and opinions once they actually knew someone who was LGBT.
What I’d really like to see is whatever entity that certifies justices of the peace compel Bardwell to sit down with ALL couples before he marries them to evaluate them individually: not based on race, but based on the maturity of their decision to enter into marriage together.
Idealistic? Sure! But it’s better than the alternative.
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Great letter, Julie! I live right down the road from Tangipahoa so I’ll be happy to deliver this personally…
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Here, here, Julie. Great article, awesomely written. And your daughter is beautiful
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Very true Brian! I noticed that a lot when I moved to the south. I distinctly remember the day when one of my coworkers called biracial children “mudbabies”. I was deeply offended and embarrassed for her. Living life with such ignorance is so sad.
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Thank you so much for writing this Julie. The beautiful text powerfully expresses the outrage that all of us should feel at this prejudice. Noone should attempt to define love and committment, in regards to race, sexuality, or other qualifier, outside of the couple themselves.
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@Megan, Nancy, & Ashley- Thank you!
Megan- I’d love for you to deliver it personally.
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It’s amazing to see how much of us defy precisely what this justice of the peace is claiming. This article fills me up with resentment but at the same time gives me this sense of relief -thank you for putting this out there and reminding me of how strong the community of people who oppose these types of things is.
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I love this article. It points out so many good points that I have never thought to try to explain to someone. I have been dating a “black” guy for about three months now and until we started going out I didn’t realize just how racist kids could be. I don’t know how many times I heard someone say to me “so I heard you are going out with a black dude!!” It litterally made me want to scream at them “Yea and last I heard people aren’t classified in colors!”
Anyways I just want to thank you for writing this peice. That really was a terrible thing the judge did and I know that if my inter-racial relationship gets to the point where we would like to get married that I wouldn’t want to be denied that right.
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Thanks for your comment, and I’m glad you found the piece meaningful. Stay strong!
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